Of lost friendship, and flickering dreams

This is a collaboration between me (queenzayta) and my friend Rofiat Alli (DaMore) a little more than a year ago. Thanks Damore for this beautiful collaboration.

I hope this jump-starts your day and hope you find your dreams. Enjoy.

 

 ***

 

As girls, we dreamed of what we wanted to be. Now, we’re grown and big…but is this what we dreamed?

 

Damore-

 

I saw it all

 

The cheer, the fame,

 

I saw it wrong

 

In my mind’s face…

 

 

 

The glamour,

 

We would talk about,

 

In hushed tones,

 

On nights when the rules we’d flout

 

 

 

And we’d dream

 

And laugh

 

Over silly things,

 

We promised to be when we grew big and fat!

 

 

 

We wanted so much,

 

The world on both our thumbs

 

Big houses,

 

Fine men

 

We were dreamers without a care

 

 

 

Best friends

 

I remember,

 

And the tales we’d tell,

 

Now over this, tears I shed,

 

 

 

With the innocence gone,

 

And in you whom,

 

A friend I’ve lost,

 

 

 

I see you,

 

Tall and thin,

 

Wanna be a model

 

Is that what we dreamed?

 

 

 

Bobby with the belly,

 

Guess I hear he’s 50

 

Your boyfriend or daddy?

 

Angie, this aint what you promised!

 

 

 

We wanted better

 

I thought you remembered,

 

But I see along the way,

 

You found more dreams to crave.

 

Queenzayta’s

 

I loved it all

 

The cheer, the fame

 

You saw it wrong

 

In my eyes, they were more than right

 

 

 

And the glamour,

 

All glitzy and sparkling?!!

 

Yes, we talked them hushly

 

Over pies and ice cream

 

 

 

Flouting curfews till mornings came

 

We were culprits

 

Mind, body and game

 

 

 

We’d dream

 

We’d giggle

 

Over silly things

 

And Mummy’s boys

 

And of things we would be

 

When we grew chick and curvy

 

 

 

We wanted so much

 

The world on a green button

 

Flashy cars

 

Robust accounts

 

We dreamed without a care

 

 

 

Best friends we were

 

And the fears we’d share

 

Now over them, the tears fall

 

 

 

With all innocence gone

 

In you, a friend I mourn

 

Today, we meet

 

You are what we dreamed,

 

Me, tall, thin, modelly

 

Maybe we didn’t dream this

 

 

 

And Bobby?

 

He’s working on the belly

 

He’s not so old, maybe 40

 

No boyfriend, no daddy

 

Call him my baby-daddy

 

This aint what I promised

 

Maybe, just maybe

 

I got it wrong to get it right

 

 

 

We wanted better

 

For me, it was harder

 

Yes, I remember

 

How much I worked

 

To get noticed

 

I didn’t crave more

the straight path was just never for me

 

 

 

 

Not much to lose

 

Little less to gain

 

I only followed the lights

 

That never came in dreams

 

 

Up Front or Behind the Scene…

It took me four months after I finally decided to start this blog to actually design it. You should see me around the office asking the IT and one of the Art guys how to go about it. Ewooo!! Even my boss caught me at it and couldn’t help laughing.

Finally sha, we are here (Wipes forehead of sweat).

I know you guys want to read something serious. Something my Literati people can easily term a classic story with a phenomenal resolution blah blah or one which many of my “Feminist” friends can call me to say “I like the way you pictured your character as the other. It’s such a post-colonial representation of blah blah. Abegi! I left that style of writing in school o. Post-colonial ishes and all those -isms might not come up very frequently here. Just saying sha. It doesn’t however  mean they won’t come up (Baba Ibeji’s money must show up once in a while. Four years of -isms is nor beans na).

Writing here however will be as the spirit leads jare.

I just wanna tell everyday stories that will make you say “Oh, I can relate” or “That’s so Me” and still pass a message.

So there’s this issue that’s always giving me cause for concern. Countless times a lot of people have wondered why I haven’t gone into Modeling or any of those centerstage professions. So I’ve decided to talk about it as a collective issue rather than tell people individually.

As much as some would attribute it to religion, I’ve always believed people are created for several reasons. Some are created to be the buzz while some are created to be the ones behind the buzz makers. It boils down to those who create and those who are created.

I’d rather let my work speak for me rather than be the one making all the noise about what my work does. I create things and stay well-hidden. I thrive best in the background; even though a lot of people think otherwise. I love to watch rather than be seen. It’s just me.

Then there are times when I think I’m hidden but I’m right in the middle of the actions. I try…I try to stay well-hidden; to create my private place in a very public world. Sometimes we try but the decisions are out of our hands.

But there are a lot of people out there who’d rather be seen. All good and fine. People are different. Just pick your corner and make it work best for you. I have picked mine and it’s just perfect for me.

So when next you walk into the room, don’t expect to find me in the center. I’d be at the corner at the back, taking in the room and activities.

I’d however wanna try the modeling thing one time though (with my scarf on), just for the fun of it or maybe just to see life on the other side of the divide (E sha mo)

Before I disappear again, be kind to share with me (in the comment section ni o. Stay out of my bbm biko); what are you? The seen? Or the seer?